joanna irl

my daily life as experienced over a 5 minute period

If much of my life could be summed up into a single incident, I suspect it would be the one that just happened while I was home alone with my cats* on a Friday night.

Some background: I’ve had an insect nemesis for the prior THREE DAYS in the form of a FLY. This fly is equipped with special STEALTH TECHNOLOGY. It has to be. How else could a giant fly vanish for hours (days?) at a time?? It buzzes past me and then vanishes into thin air, I’m certain by activating its cloaking device, and then is just GONE for hours. It’s been BOTHERING me that I couldn’t find this fly.

Prior to tonight’s Incident, the last time I saw the fly was several hours ago, probably around lunch time, buzzing around my office. Even though I immediately closed the door to said office, the fly was nowhere to be found. So I went about my business, waiting. At some point the fly will reappear, right?

Fast forward to tonight.

I was finishing up in the bathroom and downloading a game I used to play onto my phone. It’s a silly little puzzle game from Disney called tsum tsum. It’s been around for years, but I haven’t played in a long time, and wanted to give it another whirl. The thing you need to know about this game is that, after you’ve done the tutorial on how to play, it downloads game data BEFORE you can go into settings and turn off the music.

The music that sounds like this:

So. You’ve got the scene. I’m in the bathroom, washing my hands. Alone except for cats, so the door is cracked open. THIS music is playing on a loop in the background.

And in swoops The Fly.

I slammed the door closed and twirled the hand towel into a loop. I’m reasonably good at knocking flies with a towel. I wait for my chance, and BOOM. The fly is toast. Huzzah! I flush the dead insect and go to toss the towel into the dirty laundry, its mission complete.

The tsum tsum music is still playing in the background.

And then, in my moment of triumph…

…I stepped right into cat vomit, with a single round piece of cat poop lying beside it.

And that, my friends, is what a hopping Friday night at my house is like (because I definitely hopped all the way to the sink to clean my foot).

I suspect there’s more poop somewhere, but that’s future Jo’s problem. Current Jo is figuring out how to get that awful app noise to stop playing already. It’s enough of a circus without theme music.

Looks innocent but is actually culprit of SCARF’N’BARF.

*Being at home necessarily includes cats, so this is no special designation, but I wanted to SET THE SCENE, if you will. Carry on.