So, today I learned an important skill: the correct way to slice a pineapple like a kama’aina (local).

Our story begins yesterday, when I realized I was craving fruit. We’ve been living on things like pasta and sandwiches waiting for things to settle in the house (I keep hoping they’ll magically put themselves away for me), so it’s been a while since I had fresh fruits and veggies. I decided to make a quick trip to the store to buy some bananas… and walked out about half an hour later with mangoes, pears, bananas, and a beautiful pineapple.

I say this pineapple is beautiful because it looked pretty in the pile of other pineapples. It’s like trying to pick out your favorite egg from a dozen when you open a new box of them; somehow one of them is the first you use. Is it the prettiest? We’ll never know.

Anyway, I chose a beautiful pineapple, with its yellowy green skin (no orange ones at the moment) and fluffy looking top and brought it home. I proudly set it on the counter to admire how my kitchen looks with a fresh pineapple in it. The effect was nice, and I kept admiring the pineapple the rest of the day. It was a very pretty pineapple!

Well, it wasn’t just that the pineapple was pretty; I honestly didn’t know the best way to tackle the pineapple. Let’s face it, they’re intimidating with their prickly skins and weird fluffy growth that puts carrots to shame. So where to begin? The only time I’d seen someone slice a pineapple, it looked like they lost a lot of fruit in the process.

Solution? Google, of course! Google My Hero! (Hey, that could be a great alternative rock band name, yeah?) Anyway, I found a great little Hawaiian food blog called Ma’ona, written by a guy who is not from Hawai’i but moved here several years ago and is exploring his new home though its foods. He had wonderfully simple directions, and after reading over them, I walked bravely back into the kitchen.

Within ten minutes, I was munching on wonderful sweet and tangy pineapple chunks.

Take that, Hawai’i!

Current score?
Me: 1
Hawaii’i: 137

But hey, at least I’m on the scoreboard now, right?

…by the way, if anyone is looking for a Christmas gift for me, this looks like a pretty cool thing. ^_^